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This past year has been so bleak. A forced move, losing Molly, friendships falling apart, ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
hogwarts_hocus falling apart, starting individual and group therapy, a terrifying trip to the hospital with dangerous anemia... and on Monday I have my colonoscopy/upper endoscopy scheduled and I have a million little fears. I want so much to back out but the gastroenterologist basically told me I was slowly bleeding out from the inside. Sometimes that makes it even more tempting.
More than anything I want to just stop. I'm tired and it hurts to be alive. My responsibility to my cats is the main thing that forces me to keep on. And they're aging even faster than I am.
hogwarts_hocus falling apart, starting individual and group therapy, a terrifying trip to the hospital with dangerous anemia... and on Monday I have my colonoscopy/upper endoscopy scheduled and I have a million little fears. I want so much to back out but the gastroenterologist basically told me I was slowly bleeding out from the inside. Sometimes that makes it even more tempting.More than anything I want to just stop. I'm tired and it hurts to be alive. My responsibility to my cats is the main thing that forces me to keep on. And they're aging even faster than I am.
