(no subject)

[atalantapendrag]

I'm so stressed out and tired of the things in my life that I can't change. If I had an even slightly supportive family my life would be so different. I'm resentful and burned out and I have wonderful friends but I don't have the support system I need. And knowing that my mother KNEW how tough my situation is and made the choice to leave everything to the guy she pushed me out of her life to be with just wrings me out.

Comments

[sathari]

Yeah, your mom's behavior is just... so ugly. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

[atalantapendrag]

Thanks. I might ask my therapist if he thinks I should tell my father about that bit of fuckery but I suspect that if he didn't contact me on my birthday when he knew my mom had just died there's not much point.

I've had two dreams recently that were small variations on the theme of going somewhere (once New York City, once a movie theater) with my mother and her wanting to leave before I was ready. Both were very much set "now", with me using a smartphone to look things up, and both involved places I hadn't been in years (early 90s for NYC, and I haven't seen a movie in a theater since 2011).

[sathari]

No harm discussing it with your therp--- or even discussing the part where your father didn't call you on the birthday right after your mother died.

...I'm probably being Captain Obvious here, but it sounds like your brain is processing your mom's death and feeling unready for it. Maybe another thing to talk about with your therp?

[atalantapendrag]

Yeah, he knows about the first dream, but the second was since my last appointment.

[sathari]

Yeeah, might be something to discuss, then.