(no subject)

[atalantapendrag]

I took a bunch of phone calls, but I finally found a mobile vet willing and able to come by. Kidney failure. I held Molly and told stories about her while the vet (who was very kind) ended her suffering.

I can't believe my Mollywog is gone.

Comments

[subluxate]

I'm glad you were able to hold her.

I'm so, so sorry you lost her. You've loved her so long that I can't imagine how much you must be hurting to lose her.

[atalantapendrag]

Since January of 2001.

Held her, talked to her, loved her in all the ways I could in a moment like that. And when she was gone and couldn't hurt any more, held her tight and SOBBED.

But I'm still in shock.

[subluxate]

All my sympathies are with you. Losing a kitty is never easy, but losing one so suddenly is so, so much worse, and that's eleven solid years of having her love. I cannot imagine how you feel; losing her must feel like you've been hit by a train. You're in my thoughts.

[atalantapendrag]

Because of allergies, I was never able to have cats growing up, so I've never lost a kitty before. Like the Mark Does Stuff banner says, I am not prepared.

[subluxate]

We lost three cats when I was growing up. Two were my sister's, and I didn't have much emotional attachment, but it still hit hard. The third was my baby, and it crushed me, absolutely wrecked me. I only had him for five years, too. Having her for eleven...it must be how I felt, but amplified. I am so, so very sorry. If I wasn't a thousand miles away, I'd come sit with you, and you could tell me about her if you wanted. You can here, now, if you want.

[sathari]

Oh, hon. OH HON. I'm so sorry for your loss. You did everything right for her. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

ALL THE HUGS. ALL OF THEM.

[atalantapendrag]

I'm in total shock right now. Most animal lovers my age have been through this by my age.

I know I posted this on my LJ but I don't think I put it up here... it's what I was listening to while waiting for the vet. Now I am listening over and over and crying and I don't know how to deal with this sort of grief.

[atalantapendrag]

Grief makes me stupid. THIS.

[atalantapendrag]

oooooooor maybe it is the embed. http://youtu.be/suJqCw3SAZw is now Molly's song to me.

[sathari]

Ohhhhh, I went and Googled the lyrics (no audio on my computer) and just OH.

In the words of Andrew Vachss, if love would die along with death, this life wouldn't be so hard. *more hugs*

Molly's over the rainbow bridge, and she had a good life with someone who loved her. You took all the best care of her right up through the end.

Grief and how to cope with it is different for everyone, but cry all you need. Love the two furrygirls who are still with you; they'll be confused and upset too. Take care of yourself. If talking/writing about her helps, do it; if not, don't.

[atalantapendrag]

This particular recording blows the socks off the version that was in the film, too. I don't know if you've read The Hunger Games or ever mean to (I found them entertaining but flawed in the way that leaves room for excellent fanfic!), but it's even more heartbreaking in context.


Anya and Hecate are curled up together right now, as they often are. They seem mildly confused, but "mildly confused" is sort of Anya's default setting. I wish I knew how much Hecate understood. Several times in these past couple of days it was her meows, not Molly's, that alerted me to Molly's distress. But after the vet left and Hecate came out of hiding I tried to give her a chance to say goodbye, and she just stared at me. I can't help but think she could tell that Molly wasn't in there anymore.

When my finances recover I am gonna get a memorial tattoo, but I have to decide whether to get some sort of cat image or a quote of Molly Grue's dialogue from THE LAST UNICORN, her namesake.

[sathari]

Poor Hecate! It is hard to know what they understand all the time, especially on something like this.

The ink sounds like a most excellent idea! (I went looking for images of Neil Gaiman's version of Death holding a cat, even before I knew you were thinking about tattoo designs, but I didn't find anything to forward. :( )

The Hunger Games isn't on my to-read list, but it's not on my "Oh UGH NO" list like Twilight is; I am neutral on the subject. But VERY glad you have found music for this. That often helps.

[atalantapendrag]

I took this pic today of Hecate watching over me.

<3 Sandman!Death forever, but it's Discworld!Death that I think of when cats are involved.