(no subject)

[atalantapendrag]

This past year has been so bleak. A forced move, losing Molly, friendships falling apart, hogwarts_hocus falling apart, starting individual and group therapy, a terrifying trip to the hospital with dangerous anemia... and on Monday I have my colonoscopy/upper endoscopy scheduled and I have a million little fears. I want so much to back out but the gastroenterologist basically told me I was slowly bleeding out from the inside. Sometimes that makes it even more tempting.

More than anything I want to just stop. I'm tired and it hurts to be alive. My responsibility to my cats is the main thing that forces me to keep on. And they're aging even faster than I am.

Comments

[sathari]

Oh, hon. *hughughug*

...something that is true for me at least is that my moods can be strongly, horribly fucked up by "below-the-neck" shit; if the rest of me isn't happy, it can knock me for a loop emotionally, even if I don't know that the problem is with a not-brain body part. What I'm trying to say is, getting the bleeding fixed may reduce the tired-and-hurting and make it easier to recover from the big events (moving! starting therapy! those are big!) you've had in the last year.

[atalantapendrag]

Yeah, another friend of mine was saying something similar yesterday. It's just so overwhelming and distressing! I have to take out all my jewelry, I'll probably lose at least a couple of my piercings :(

[sathari]

Major health issues always suck! Good luck keeping your piercings. (I wish I could give you some of my ~*weird magical*~ inability to have piercings heal over; I've had a lobe piercing resewn and it refused to heal.)