(no subject)

[atalantapendrag]

So, I was told I should write about my writer's block, so I'm going to try.

I've never been an especially prolific writer, but I started writing fanfic in the 90s and for a long time I always had something in progress. In the days of mailing lists, I always got lots of feedback and promptly; they were small and supportive communities and we cheered each other on. Fandom moving to Livejournal was a mixed blessing. The communities were larger, which meant more possible readers and commenters, but also less closeness and support, but most of my pieces got at least a few comments.
...

I'm having trouble writing this. I've been blocked even at writing journal entries. And it's all the same thing, I think. Lack of fedback and depression. When I try to push myself it gets worse. Trying to do NaNoWriMo paralyzes me. This isn't the meaningful, introspective essay I wanted to write. It's not the thoughtful analysis of what's blocking me. Those thoughts spin around in my head as concepts but trying to put them into words makes them vanish, and it's even worse with fiction.

And right now I don't even have any plotbunnies. I'm not deeply immersed in any fandom right now, and the shift from Livejournal to Tumblr makes the sense of community even weaker. I don't have the peer support I did, and my depression's been really bad, and I might be able to work through one or the other but the combination just feeds off itself.

Maybe I should try poetry again for a while. It doesn't have to be good.