Whuff.

[atalantapendrag]

Ok, I am tired.

Forced myself to go to the clinic yesterday morning. My counselor complimented me for getting in conversations with the other clients but I felt like a fake. Oh well. Last night I played Cards Against Humanity with some of the folks from Radio Dead Air chat and had a blast. I even won a round!

Today was psychiatrist day. As usual I went super early; even stopping at Dollar General (got a t-shirt and some instant mashed potatoes) and the liquor store (ROMPOPE FUCK YEAH) I was three hours early, but I was lucky and got seen two hours early! Which would have been more helpful if the doctor hadn't said "I don't know how to help you, keep going to therapy". So I am off the lithium and just on Haldol and Valium PRN.

But getting seen early meant getting out early meant I went to Amillion Tattoos and Piercing to get the ink I've been craving! (after a stop at Arby's for a protein-rich lunch and a nice chat with the counter girl) I showed the artist, Jorge, the pages in Hothead Paisan with the lamp and described what I wanted, he quoted me a reasonable price, and went to draw it up. It was just what I wanted! So I filled out the paperwork and we got down to business. It hurt, but not dreadfully, and right now it isn't even a little sore.

My new ink, forgive the crappy selfie -



And after that, I went to Walgreens to pick up my meds and some lotion for the healing tattoo. So I have been busy busy and right now I am making matzoh ball soup because I may be tired but I want noms!

Comments

[sathari]

Eyah.

...mind if I ask what therps do that make you feel that they're hearing vs. not? No pressure to answer, just < insert "the more you know" gif here >, lol.

[atalantapendrag]

That's a good question because it's something I often feel on a pre-verbal level (my thoughts are in concepts first, then the words come... it's taken me a while to realize that this is maybe not the norm). A biggie is having to explain the same things over and over. Also when they brush aside something I mention I feel is important. I only felt really heard with a therp who could engage with me a little on my own terms; we both watched SIX FEET UNDER and there were some very useful parallels to be made there, she backed me when the caseworker I had did some really out of line stuff (demanding to see my bank statements), that sort of thing.

[sathari]

Thank you for this! That part about "you get to decide what is important, the therp gets to work with that" is... big, I think.

Also, fellow person who thinks in concepts first and words second, o hai!

[atalantapendrag]

The trouble with thinking in concepts before words is it seems to derail cognitive behavioral therapy :( not sure if it hamstrings dialectical behavioral therapy the same way but I am wary.

[sathari]

That is fascinating. Unfortunate, but fascinating, and a thing I'll keep in mind for myself as well.

[atalantapendrag]

It's hard to reword a thought when you've got the concept in your head before it's verbalized! I have known one therp who gets this.

[sathari]

Yeah, re-concepting... would be a different thing. Very different.